


Mechanary

by CorvidCuriosities (AvianAtrocities)



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers, Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Other, Perceived Unrequited Love, song lyrics trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 13:49:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18621898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvianAtrocities/pseuds/CorvidCuriosities
Summary: Xaaron spends an evening nursing an old wound.





	Mechanary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [baiku (KasMuna)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KasMuna/gifts).



> ive been in hell for these two a lot lately

_I’m old,_ he had thought. _He can throw anything and everything at me, nothing will stick._

 

And a fat load of rubbish that had been.

 

Xaaron sat by himself off to the side of the bar, at one of those little round tables meant for two. Someone had stolen a chair to make seating for a larger party at one of the booths, providing the island of reclusiveness in a sea of camaraderie.

 

Ultra Magnus had taken up residence at the front of the bar, in front of the stage rather that on it in an effort to avoid hitting his helmet on the ceiling. He had mic in hand and it seemed like he had been belting out lovely renditions of _vintage_ Earth songs since before Xaaron had arrived. He had been impressed by the officer’s vocal range, his voice fit well for the music he had picked and his voice had that special sort of handsomeness that was easier to recognize when he wasn’t citing some poor fool a parking ticket. _Good old Magnus._ It had been a pleasure to watch the characteristically uptight mech slowly adjust to life outside of war and evolve into a happier, more openly amicable soul. 

> “ _Love is all that I can give to you..._ ”

The Emirate smiled fondly into his glass.  
  
“Need a refill?” Another familiar, charming voice asked from somewhere slightly downward, drawing Xaaron’s attention away from the lights and towards the boxy form standing nearby in the pleasant dimness.  
  
“Yes please, if you don’t mind.”  
  
“Same as before or do you want to mix it up?”  
  
“Just the same. Thank you, Swerve.”

> “ _Love is more than just a game for two,_ ”

The bartender grinned and turned on his heels, a tray filled with empty glasses balanced precariously in hand and above his head. He had never broken a glass during Xaaron’s time present, it had taken a time, but now he had the utmost faith in the minibot to keep all his drinkware upright and not in a thousand little pieces on the floor. 

> “ _Two in love can make it,_ ”

And as a simple-minded buffoon, he instantly made the correlation as to _why_ he was here in the first place; a scattered, fractured, horribly broken spark.

 

He slumped, chin in palm and eyes distant.

 

“Are you ever going to settle down?” He had asked some time after the war had ended. It was a silly question to begin with, he knew better than anyone that the drive to better their universe was a painful, compelling addiction.  
  
“I’ll settle when they’ve put me in my coffin or scatter my rust,” was the expected answer, even though it still stung.  
  
“There’s a life outside of this, Impactor. There’s possibilities and hope-- Let someone else do the dirty work for once in your life, you’ve earned your rest.”  
  
All that had earned Xaaron in return was a hard glare, deep set yellow eyes glowering out from the shadow of his furrowed brow.  
  
“Now, don’t look at me like that,” he sighed wearily as he laid a gentle hand on the larger mech’s arm. “There’s more to life than fighting, that's what we _fought_ for, you know that better than anyone.”

 

But the Wrecker has pulled away from Xaaron’s pleading touch, leaving the counselor's hand stunned and frozen, still reaching for him though he had left a chasm between them.

 

“There’s no life for me outside of this,” Impactor spat tersely, refusing to look at Xaaron. “There’s a reason why you named us the _Wreckers_.”

 

“And that was my mistake, had I known you’d turn it into a wallowing gaggle of self-destructive idiots, I would have come up with something else!” Xaaron snapped back, anger rising. “There’s more to them and there’s more to you- So why is it that you can stare death in the face without so much as a tremble, but you’re too afraid to look me in the eye when I ask you to live!”

 

His voice had climbed to meet his emotional state, leaving him shouting at the back of Impactor’s head while the other had pointedly ignored him. 

> “ _Take my heart and please don't break it,_ ”

“I want to end this,” Xaaron added after a moment of tense silence had passed and he could speak without yelling. “I want you to live and be happy, whether or not I can be apart of that. I’m retiring, Impactor. I’m old and the war is over, I want to find a home and I’m asking you to be a _part_ of it.”

 

The mention of retirement, Impactor breaks from his stony stillness, looking over his shoulder to glower at his long time _associate_.

 

“You’re smarter than that, Xaaron,” he gave his answer with resentment brewing beneath the stormy expression on his face. The Wrecker turned, broad shoulders hunched and armor clamped tight as if he were anticipating an attack despite his standoffish attitude, “We would never work out, we barely tolerate each other as is.”

 

What remained of Xaaron’s spark and resolve shattered, well aware of every clandestine kiss shied away from, every lonesome morning he woke up sore and scratched without so much as a goodbye. Every time he tried to get closer, Impactor pushed him away. Their relationship had never been ideal, had been his folly and had never been appropriate to begin with, but the hope of starting a new life had given him the false belief that perhaps they could make it work.  
  
“That’s how you see us, then.” The Emirate acknowledged weakly, optic meeting Impactor’s harsh glare. “Then I suppose I am a fool for loving you.”  
  
Those were the last words he managed before Impactor had spun around with a bellow to slam his harpoon into the nearby wall, puncturing it deeply in his rage before tearing himself loose and rampaging out the doorway, leaving behind Xaaron to stare at the ruined scenery, audio receptors ringing, his optics flaring freely.

 

And now, Xaaron sat alone at _Swerve’s_ , idly spinning a nut and bolt in his otherwise empty glass, ruminating on the fate of his former lover.

 

After retiring and running off with the _Lost Light_ , news of Impactor had been scarce to him. There was that data-packet on the Wreckers sent out on occasion, a favorite of a few on board as he recalled, but the news was old to him and reading their escapades did nothing but agitate the lingering pain in his spark. Former associates involved (Ultra Magnus, Whirl,) kept to themselves, or at least away from him aside from the occasional greeting in the hallway, a snark from Whirl, a committee session with Magnus, leaving Xaaron in the dark.  
  
Possibly for the best, knowing that his departure left Prowl with more power than the mech really should have had.

 

He pondered sometimes about them. If Springer had recovered fully, if Guzzle had begun to behave. Wondered if Impactor ever thought of him.

 

“And a _Cybertronian Sunrise_ for you,” Swerve’s voice interrupted his veiled brooding, sliding a fresh drink across the table top. Xaaron quickly thanked him and exchanged the empty glass with untouched garnish, giving the minibot a pleasant smile before he trotted off to help the next table.

 

He took a sip and his expression fell melancholy as his fuel tank protested. It seemed like every cycle that passed left him more and more unwell within his own body. He drank more to both quell and ignore it, letting his gaze wander back to the stage and Magnus. 

> “ _Love was made for me and you._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> the title comes from a bad portmanteau for mechanical canary
> 
> because Xaaron is Impactor's canary
> 
> and he should have listened to the bird
> 
> cryingcat.jpg


End file.
